i love accidental penises.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize