Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
