She's like a pop up book from hell.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize