i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize