what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize