I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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