Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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