called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
