You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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