actually, I'm a sock model
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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