You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
