Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
