in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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