Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
