What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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