I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
