we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
