I just made out with a guy for $7.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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