HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
