if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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