i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
