your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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