I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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