I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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