No awkward lesbian experiences without me
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I understand Curling. That high.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize