you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
