i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
