ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
