idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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