I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
