I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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