is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
