I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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