i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize