Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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