It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
