Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
