I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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