the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
