Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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