remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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