I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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