There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
