I wanna bring you to show and tell
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
