Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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