i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
