dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
