okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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