i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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