check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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