i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
