Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
