If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize