You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
