I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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