Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize